Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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