I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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