he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
