You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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