haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dicks are not precious.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
