So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she pinky promised me she was 18
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
