We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
