I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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