I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
