If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
