Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
