No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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