Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
