does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
