they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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