I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
