i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My feet surprised me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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