Too much gin, very little bucket
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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