Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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