Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
