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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.

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• (916): View more from California

  Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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• 

  23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute

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• (512): View more from Texas

  honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand

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• (469): View more from Texas

  You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (925): View more from California

  Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Savage

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