Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My vagina just recognized that song.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.