Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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(815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y

Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (1184)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Kareoke will never be a sober sport

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(702): Kareoke will never be a sober sport http://tfl.nu/39pw

Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (490)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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(847): i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago http://tfl.nu/60w4

Replies (29) Good night (5348) Bad night (927)
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(503): View more from Oregon

after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.

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(503): after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success. http://tfl.nu/y8ni

Replies (15) Good night (5261) Bad night (720)
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(727): View more from Florida

It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.

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(727): It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics. http://tfl.nu/z8vb

Replies (6) Good night (867) Bad night (4254)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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(773): i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table http://tfl.nu/1eyi

Replies (5) Good night (2764) Bad night (1588)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did

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(732): 90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did http://tfl.nu/76ya

Replies (9) Good night (2634) Bad night (1179)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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(651): I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his. http://tfl.nu/2lgm

Replies (15) Good night (2552) Bad night (790)
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(518): View more from New York

Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.

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(518): Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/9gud

Replies (7) Good night (1920) Bad night (656)
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(618): View more from Illinois

It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses

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(618): It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses http://tfl.nu/lx3f

Replies (5) Good night (1044) Bad night (439)
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(727): View more from Florida

Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.

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(727): Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what. http://tfl.nu/k4ko

Replies (5) Good night (1805) Bad night (625)
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(509): View more from Washington

The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.

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(509): The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks. http://tfl.nu/w0s1

Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (431)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver

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(208): Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver http://tfl.nu/xi4h

Replies (7) Good night (1032) Bad night (513)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing

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(847): He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing http://tfl.nu/4q9w

Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (536)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here

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(336): Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here http://tfl.nu/w9vv

Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (179)

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