Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna have a badass scar

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  (248): I'm gonna have a badass scar http://tfl.nu/vp2m
  Replies (3) Good night (1704) Bad night (651)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important

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  (780): Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important http://tfl.nu/ydfw
  Replies (19) Good night (2605) Bad night (677)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters

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  (240): you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters http://tfl.nu/0u7p
  Replies (30) Good night (5236) Bad night (1254)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1476) Bad night (14625)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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  (773): halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids http://tfl.nu/g564
  Replies (19) Good night (4392) Bad night (1430)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.

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  (519): It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE. http://tfl.nu/hewz
  Replies (12) Good night (1518) Bad night (2144)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.

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  (312): my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer. http://tfl.nu/1z92
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (542)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device

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  (708): That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device http://tfl.nu/adi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1925) Bad night (459)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?

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  (414): Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it? http://tfl.nu/mo75
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (389)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm a corrupt cop.

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  (678): You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably. (404): I'm a corrupt cop. http://tfl.nu/teya
  Replies (4) Good night (1897) Bad night (516)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.

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  (956): I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied. http://tfl.nu/aspz
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (450)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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  (618): There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister. http://tfl.nu/tdo0
  Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (743)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

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  (816): Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown http://tfl.nu/kwyi
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (323)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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  (920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud
  Replies (7) Good night (815) Bad night (327)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.

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  (808): well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club. http://tfl.nu/3hkg
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (276)

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