carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM