he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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