I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So much Jack, so little girl.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
