I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
