the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
