I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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