I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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