Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
