I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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