dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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