your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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