the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
