Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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