My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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