Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
