Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
