Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
