so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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