I just made out with a guy for $7.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
