i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
