so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.