You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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