ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF