how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?