that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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