Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That accounts for only three of the penises
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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