the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
