I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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