so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
