I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
