He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
