I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
