Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
