i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
