And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize