he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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