what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
