i permit you to call me
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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