I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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