Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed