He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
