when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
