now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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