you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits