Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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