in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
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I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME