Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
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My dad just said "fuck circus"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?