How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.