We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
