u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
