I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
