theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize