Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
worst night to have a conscience
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
